The Juggle is Real

The truest thing I ever heard about parenting is that moms are expected to work like they don’t have kids and parent like they don’t have a job. Right now I work 3 or 4 12 hour shifts a week. I get up at 3:30 in the morning to get everything ready, get my kids ready, and then drop them off at my mom's house. After work I pick them up from my mom's and then go home and make supper at 6 o’clock at night, and then attempt to put them to bed at a decent time, clean up the supper mess and get everything ready for the next day.

Now I’m not saying that my boyfriend doesn’t help. Our default is that I take care of the house and kids and he takes care of everything outside like the mowing, fixing fence, taking care of the animals, and working on our cars or mower or whatever else needs fixed. He is also working typically anywhere from 50 to 60 hours a week so it’s expected to do all this other stuff.

No matter how hard I strive for mom life work life balance I’m always lacking somewhere. I am learning that I will never have enough time or energy to give 100% to everything at all times. The best I can do is give my kids 100% when I am with my kids. And give work 100% when I am at work. That is the best effort that I can give.

Now obviously, my 100% is not always 100%. When I have something on my mind or I’m feeling a little under the weather or one of my kids is sick and I’m worried about them, I can't complete focus on work. So 100% for that day may be 80% of my usual.

I am absolutely exhausted. But I am doing my best. In the end, that’s all that really matters. I am doing my best to be the best mom that I can be for my children, and I would do almost anything in my power to ensure their happiness and wellbeing.

Even if that means waking up before the ass crack of Dawn to drop them off at a place where they are well cared for and loved unconditionally, working my butt off all day, and going home exhausted, just to be able to provide them with some kick ass health insurance and put food on the table.

Side note: I am currently writing this on my pump break at work and today I miss my babies so much that my chest hurts. But I know that they are happy, healthy and loved in my absence.